Funerary: –adjective, of or pertaining to a funeral or burial:

I've been researching headstones because my dad has asked me to help him pick one out for my mother's grave. This is a daunting task. First of all, while I do enjoy a good shopping trip, I can't say that the idea of shopping for a suitable funerary monument is something I relish. I've been looking online trying to get ideas so that when I take my dad this weekend we won't be starting from scratch.

Dad said, "No vases or angels or crazy stuff attached. Needs to be simple." If you know my dad, such a statement would not be a surprise to you. What is surprising is how hard it is to actually find a tasteful, simple headstone without the crazy stuff attached. There are a LOT of really tacky monuments out there, and while my mom absolutely loved Elvis Presley, she did not love his tacky mansion when we visited Graceland years ago. She wouldn't want the crazy.

Like any new endeavor, picking out a headstone has a learning curve. For example, I've learned that styles include pillow top, flat, slant, and the standard upright. I've learned that nothing is even remotely inexpensive. I've learned that there are several color options such as grey, black, and mahogany --which are expected-- and others such as imperial red and exotic emerald pearl which are a bit unexpected. I've learned that you can actually put a bench instead of a headstone. It is truly overwhelming.

I don't look forward to this task, but I plan to be prepared. While looking at headstones is weird on so many levels, finding this online today gave me pause for another reason. Kind of hard to see, but the names of the Volkers are Michael and Andrea. I guess it's time to update my own will.