Wayfaring

I had a hard time coming up with an "f" word for "road trip." After a couple of weeks of sickness and a delay in our travel plans, the boys and I are heading for Oklahoma tomorrow. We hope to leave at about 9 in the morning so that we can make the 9 hour drive before it gets too late. Mike will be staying home and working while we're off "wayfaring."

I'm not sure what I'll find at home this trip. I do know that my mom is confined to a wheelchair now. She is wearing adult diapers and has very little bodily control anymore. I know that it will be heartbreaking. But I also know that my sons are THRILLED to be going to see Poppa Jim and I know my dad is beyond thrilled to get to spend time with them. I plan to take along more than enough grading to do while I'm there. I hope to be able to send my dad off with my children. I'll sit with Mom and try to grade a bit here and there.

Prayers are always appreciated for my parents. I am not sure when enough will be enough for my dad. At what point will he finally say, "Okay, I can't do this anymore."? I know that I would have passed that point about a year ago, but his love for and dedication to her is just astounding. When I talked to him yesterday, he calmly told me he'd been in the middle of changing the sheets on her bed because she'd had another accident the night before. As we were talking, I could hear a steady stream of nonsensical words in the background. Sometimes she starts to talk, and it is as if there is no "off" button on her brain to let her know that it would be okay to stop talking. The talking is really more a babbling of sounds rather than words. A cacophony.

I know God has a plan for my mom. I know that. But my heart is so confused and sometimes I do wonder if He has taken the best parts of her on up to heaven. But why would he leave the rest behind? I don't know, but I'm certainly struggling to have faith and confidence in His will.

I just realized that my title for this post is relevant for another purpose. My mom is like that wayfaring stranger in the old hymn:

I am a poor wayfaring stranger

While traveling through this world below

There is no sickness, toil, or danger

In that bright world to which I go

I know dark clouds will gather o’er me

I know the pathway’s rough and steep

But golden fields lie out before me

Where weary eyes no more shall weep

I’m going there to see my Father

I’m going there no more to roam

I am just going over Jordan

I am going over home.

I’ll soon be free from every trial

This form will rest beneath the sod

I’ll drop the cross of self-denial

And enter in my home with God

I’m going there to see my Savior

Who shed for me His precious blood

I am just going over Jordan

I am just going over home,

I am just going over home